The last post I wrote was rather a downer, though writing it was helpful to me to see (once again!) that my power to make my parents’ lives painless is impossible. Accepting that has taken, and will continue to take, a long time. So thank you for reading about some of my lowest moments. It was only as I wrote the words that Guilt was whispering in my ear that I found my response–that Mom suffers no matter what I or my sister do. And in fact, she is probably doing better than I think she is. The staff at Bickford are so loving; the part-time cook bought, with her own money, a waffle-maker so she can treat my parents to one of their favorite foods. They REALLY enjoyed the waffles; I cannot say enough about how much I appreciate this wonderful, caring woman.
Our big effort this weekend has been to move Mom to a room closer to the living/dining rooms. She tires so easily, yet was in a room that is about as far away from these areas as possible. Yesterday my sister, her husband, my husband and I converged on Bickford with dolly, straps, a bucket o’ tools and grim determination to get Mom moved in and have the room looking similar to the other one before we left. In three and a half hours we did it. Many thanks to a dear friend who’s a whiz at putting up pictures and other decorative touches. She went out for more nails, and found a small bookcase that will fit in the room. The five of us gathered afterward at Qdoba for dinner, and gorged (or at least I did) on burritos, and de-stressed. Today, Sunday, my sister and I went out to continue to move, discard, and sort the last things in Mom’s old room. Bafflingly, the move to a larger room means a MUCH smaller closet, and a smaller kitchen area, so the storage is reduced. But the chocolate lab picture is back on the door, and the staff says Mom has done very well, a great relief to us all. Perhaps the effort to get the room to look familiar helped, but who knows? A few more hours and we should have the room ship-shape.
Dad has supported this move all the way, and yesterday lectured staff members that they were going to have to remember where Mom had moved! They solemnly promised to do their best, so you can all heave a sigh of relief–Bill is still making sure that everyone understands her/his assignment, 20+ years after his retirement.